Guess who dove head first off the weight loss ship?! You guessed it, yours truly. I could give you a million excuses on why I haven't been sticking to my goal, but the truth is I'm lazy. It's beyond easy to just sit here and play with my kids or play around on the computer instead of getting out of the house and working out. And what's even more easy than that is eating whatever I want.... candy, oreos, ice cream... you name it, I probably ate it.
There was a point, that I thought to myself, okay it's time to do this again.... but then I just shook my head and said nahhhh... :) I'm not proud of this, but it's the truth.
Life has been a little crazy with all of us getting sick and it's only going to get crazier considering we're moving AGAIN and will be spending 2-3 days in the car. Fun, I know. Have I mentioned that we don't have a place to live yet either? Oh the joys of being in the Marine Corps :)
Don't worry though, I will get off my lazy butt and start to actually push myself. I don't want to be a blob that has morphed into a couch because that's where I've taken up a permanent residence. I want to finally get rid of this beautiful mom gut once and for all... well until baby #3 comes :)
I just need a little accountability from friends (Anna) and a little motivation (Jessica Biel).
I WILL DO THIS!
Friday, November 9, 2012
Monday, October 22, 2012
my growing babies.
Today was a day that I've been dreading for a while. Both boys had checkups with shots and I had to do this solo. :/ Last night I was so anxious, but I had a sweet husband to cuddle up to and ease my fears.
Getting ready this morning went very smoothly. Both boys were dressed, changed, and fed with time to spare. It was time to put my big girl panties on :)
I carried Kiam in his carseat and my big boy Sam walked holding my hand to the car. I was beyond proud of him. He didn't even try to go play, he just walked like a big boy! I put both boys in the car and got to the doctors office before the rain. Thank the Lord! Sam continued to walk like the big boy he is all the way up to the pediatrician on the 2nd floor. They were great in the waiting room, but then they called us back.
Sam HATES the doctors office and is petrified of the nurses and doctors. He pretty much screamed the entire time and the only way he would settle was by holding him. Luckily, Kiam was a trooper and was happy as could be...until the shots at least. They both got stuck several times, but don't worry, I brought suckers! When all was done, I gave them both some Tylenol, packed them up, and walked down to the 1st floor again. And guess what? It was raining :) I managed to get both boys in the car (a little wet) and only hit the truck beside me once with my car door. Good thing he was in his truck to watch ;)
When we finally made it home, Sam walked again holding my hand in the rain... I didn't notice he had undone his velcro straps and he lost his shoe, which made us more wet, but who doesn't love to play in the rain... Kiam that's who! Sam laughed the whole time. Such a sweet boy! Now we're all home, it's finally done, and the boys are napping peacefully!
Sam:
26 lbs 10 oz
31.5 inches
77%
Kiam:
15 lbs 10 oz
23.8 inches
97%
Getting ready this morning went very smoothly. Both boys were dressed, changed, and fed with time to spare. It was time to put my big girl panties on :)
I carried Kiam in his carseat and my big boy Sam walked holding my hand to the car. I was beyond proud of him. He didn't even try to go play, he just walked like a big boy! I put both boys in the car and got to the doctors office before the rain. Thank the Lord! Sam continued to walk like the big boy he is all the way up to the pediatrician on the 2nd floor. They were great in the waiting room, but then they called us back.
Sam HATES the doctors office and is petrified of the nurses and doctors. He pretty much screamed the entire time and the only way he would settle was by holding him. Luckily, Kiam was a trooper and was happy as could be...until the shots at least. They both got stuck several times, but don't worry, I brought suckers! When all was done, I gave them both some Tylenol, packed them up, and walked down to the 1st floor again. And guess what? It was raining :) I managed to get both boys in the car (a little wet) and only hit the truck beside me once with my car door. Good thing he was in his truck to watch ;)
When we finally made it home, Sam walked again holding my hand in the rain... I didn't notice he had undone his velcro straps and he lost his shoe, which made us more wet, but who doesn't love to play in the rain... Kiam that's who! Sam laughed the whole time. Such a sweet boy! Now we're all home, it's finally done, and the boys are napping peacefully!
Sam:
26 lbs 10 oz
31.5 inches
77%
Kiam:
15 lbs 10 oz
23.8 inches
97%
Thursday, October 18, 2012
just another update.
It's that time again... to fearlessly tell you about the progress (or lack thereof) I made this past week.
This last week Caleb was gone in the field from Tuesday until late Friday night, but thankfully I had some pretty good ladies to keep me company! I made several meals from www.skinnytaste.com and they were delicious! I loved the Skinny Pesto Chicken Slow Cooker Pulled Pork Cilantro Lime Rice .... but I didn't really care for the Pork and Green Chile Stew and I hated the Baked Corn and Crab Cakes . Won't be making those again :)
I went on several walks that usually lasted about 45 min to 1 hour on what I like to call the "hilly trail." I like this trail, because it makes me feel like I'm doing more and working harder. This week I didn't do a single lunge or squat :/ but I did continue to do crunches so all was not lost.
Caleb graduated from his BOLC (basic officer leadership course) on Tuesday and man was that a hectic day! I had to get 2 babies and myself all dressed up, changed, fed, loaded up in the car, unload from the car, and get them into the auditorium.... Thankfully I had help from my amazingly sweet neighbor! She put Sam in his carseat and carried Sam all the way in (This was actually a looongggg walk that included heels). My arms were killing me from carrying in Kiam "The Tank" Peterson in... That kid needs to lose a few lbs unless he decides to start walking soon.
In last last few weeks, I also discovered a new obsession: Hot Chocolate Milkshakes from Braums. Talk about YUMMY! This could be very bad....
Results:
Bust: 35.5 inches
Waist: 29inches
Hips: 37.75 inches
Weight: 128 lbs
I actually gained 1.5 lbs. :/ But I am not discouraged, because I did lose in other areas :) I lost 2.25 inches.
Until next week....
This last week Caleb was gone in the field from Tuesday until late Friday night, but thankfully I had some pretty good ladies to keep me company! I made several meals from www.skinnytaste.com and they were delicious! I loved the Skinny Pesto Chicken Slow Cooker Pulled Pork Cilantro Lime Rice .... but I didn't really care for the Pork and Green Chile Stew and I hated the Baked Corn and Crab Cakes . Won't be making those again :)
I went on several walks that usually lasted about 45 min to 1 hour on what I like to call the "hilly trail." I like this trail, because it makes me feel like I'm doing more and working harder. This week I didn't do a single lunge or squat :/ but I did continue to do crunches so all was not lost.
Caleb graduated from his BOLC (basic officer leadership course) on Tuesday and man was that a hectic day! I had to get 2 babies and myself all dressed up, changed, fed, loaded up in the car, unload from the car, and get them into the auditorium.... Thankfully I had help from my amazingly sweet neighbor! She put Sam in his carseat and carried Sam all the way in (This was actually a looongggg walk that included heels). My arms were killing me from carrying in Kiam "The Tank" Peterson in... That kid needs to lose a few lbs unless he decides to start walking soon.
In last last few weeks, I also discovered a new obsession: Hot Chocolate Milkshakes from Braums. Talk about YUMMY! This could be very bad....
Results:
Bust: 35.5 inches
Waist: 29inches
Hips: 37.75 inches
Weight: 128 lbs
I actually gained 1.5 lbs. :/ But I am not discouraged, because I did lose in other areas :) I lost 2.25 inches.
Until next week....
Wednesday, October 10, 2012
a bold update.
October 10
Weekly Update:
This week hasn't gone as well as I'd hoped. I thought I would be much more strict about the foods I eat and the exercise. Don't get be wrong, I have been exercising (although I wish a little more regularly) and I have been eating better, but this weekend was awful. I didn't go crazy, but I did allow myself to have some treats :) And man were they good!
I've been trying some new recipes from www.skinnytaste.com and have been pretty pleased! Healthier recipes that actually taste great! Thanks Bethany! And last night I made a healthier version of chicken nuggets that I loved!! Thanks to Kim!
Working out has included walking, crunches, situps, lunges, and squats. I pretty much just try to fit it in wherever which isn't easy. I've got 2 walking buddies and we usually try to meet about 9am :) It's nice to have adult conversation!
Now for the results:
I must say that I didn't think I did this well, because of this weekend, so I'm stoked about this!
Bust: 36 inches (granted this shouldn't even be here considering I nurse and it changes)
Waist: 30 inches
Hips: 38.5 inches
Weight: 126.5 lbs
That's a grand total of 2.5 lbs lost and 4.75 inches! WOOT WOOT!
*I even went as far as wearing the exact same outfit including the same sports bra :)
Until next week....
Weekly Update:
This week hasn't gone as well as I'd hoped. I thought I would be much more strict about the foods I eat and the exercise. Don't get be wrong, I have been exercising (although I wish a little more regularly) and I have been eating better, but this weekend was awful. I didn't go crazy, but I did allow myself to have some treats :) And man were they good!
I've been trying some new recipes from www.skinnytaste.com and have been pretty pleased! Healthier recipes that actually taste great! Thanks Bethany! And last night I made a healthier version of chicken nuggets that I loved!! Thanks to Kim!
Working out has included walking, crunches, situps, lunges, and squats. I pretty much just try to fit it in wherever which isn't easy. I've got 2 walking buddies and we usually try to meet about 9am :) It's nice to have adult conversation!
Now for the results:
I must say that I didn't think I did this well, because of this weekend, so I'm stoked about this!
Bust: 36 inches (granted this shouldn't even be here considering I nurse and it changes)
Waist: 30 inches
Hips: 38.5 inches
Weight: 126.5 lbs
That's a grand total of 2.5 lbs lost and 4.75 inches! WOOT WOOT!
*I even went as far as wearing the exact same outfit including the same sports bra :)
Until next week....
Thursday, October 4, 2012
time to be bold.
Being a girl, I feel like I go back and forth about having a positive self body image. I more so teeter on the side of being unhappy with the way I look or how much I weigh. So in the words of my amazing husband "If you don't like something, change it."
I know how to lose weight and feel better about myself (I'm not an idiot), but I will be the first to admit that I have no will power or discipline. Two things that I desperately need just to better myself.
In order to make these changes, I need to make a bold move. I need to do something drastic. I'm going to do something no women EVER wants to do. I'm going to tell you my weight and hopefully my measurements (If I can find blasted measuring tape). Each week, I will try to blog about my hopeful progress, struggles, stuff I ate, and the stuff I did to get some exercise in with having 2 kids (good luck to me).
For those of you who know me know that 1) I LOVE food and 2) I HATE to workout, so this is not going to be easy for me. But here it goes!
October 4:
Weight: 129 lbs
Height: 5'0 (Caleb measured me at actually 4'11.5, but I rounded up to make it easier of course :))
Bust: 37.5 in
Waist: 32.25 in
Hips: 39.5 in
Now for my height and build, I should be anywhere between:
Small frame: 104-115 lbs
Medium frame: 113-126 lbs
My husband and I can't agree on what frame I am so here is both :)
I would be extremely happy around 115 give or take, but overall I would just love to drop a pant size.
Because I'm nursing I don't want to restrict calories, I just want to make healthier choices. I am a horrible eater and I eat a lot of junk food! I need to be taking in at least 1800 calories each day.
After I weighed in, I went on a brisk hilly walk with my friend Megan and our strollers with our kids :) They loved it! After I came home, I finished with lunges, squats, sit ups, crunches, and push ups. I need to stick to exercises I can do at home that don't require much.
I've noticed that my core is VERY weak... probably because I had 2 kids back to back :)
See you next week! :)
I know how to lose weight and feel better about myself (I'm not an idiot), but I will be the first to admit that I have no will power or discipline. Two things that I desperately need just to better myself.
In order to make these changes, I need to make a bold move. I need to do something drastic. I'm going to do something no women EVER wants to do. I'm going to tell you my weight and hopefully my measurements (If I can find blasted measuring tape). Each week, I will try to blog about my hopeful progress, struggles, stuff I ate, and the stuff I did to get some exercise in with having 2 kids (good luck to me).
For those of you who know me know that 1) I LOVE food and 2) I HATE to workout, so this is not going to be easy for me. But here it goes!
October 4:
Weight: 129 lbs
Height: 5'0 (Caleb measured me at actually 4'11.5, but I rounded up to make it easier of course :))
Bust: 37.5 in
Waist: 32.25 in
Hips: 39.5 in
Now for my height and build, I should be anywhere between:
Small frame: 104-115 lbs
Medium frame: 113-126 lbs
My husband and I can't agree on what frame I am so here is both :)
I would be extremely happy around 115 give or take, but overall I would just love to drop a pant size.
Because I'm nursing I don't want to restrict calories, I just want to make healthier choices. I am a horrible eater and I eat a lot of junk food! I need to be taking in at least 1800 calories each day.
After I weighed in, I went on a brisk hilly walk with my friend Megan and our strollers with our kids :) They loved it! After I came home, I finished with lunges, squats, sit ups, crunches, and push ups. I need to stick to exercises I can do at home that don't require much.
I've noticed that my core is VERY weak... probably because I had 2 kids back to back :)
See you next week! :)
Monday, October 1, 2012
T-33 Days
I can see the light! Today marks 33 days until Caleb graduates from this wretched place and I for one am ecstatic! On our way to Oklahoma we had plans to find a furnished apartment off post... little did we know that we would have to live on post at the Holiday Inn. I know what you're thinking "that doesn't sound so bad".. wrong. We live in a tiny 2 bedroom apartment under the Holiday Inn name, but it is in no way up to Holiday Inn standards. They are extremely old and outdated with a lovely blue and brown decor. You can't clean ugly. To top it off, they tell you that you're supposed to get a full cleaning 2x a week (sweeping, mopping, dusting, vacuuming, bathroom, new linens)...I get a cleaning once a week without the bathroom being cleaned, without dusting, and without the floors really being cleaned and I'm too much of a pushover to actually say anything. Fail. This place does have some perks, though, so I suppose I shouldn't complain. We are making a lot of money by living here, I do get help with cleaning, free toiletries, and we do have a small 2 bedroom apartment rather than a hotel room (my initial thought).
After Caleb graduates, we're gonna load up that Uhaul and head to truly begin our new, more stable, life. I can't wait to be in the same place for more than a year and really be able to settle into a new home and make it my own. I've been flooding my Pinterest with big ideas, although with 2 kids under 2 I foresee the follow through lacking. I'm also beyond thrilled to be in California and live somewhere I've never been. I love new experiences and I'm stoked to have 2 amazing ladies to share them with! I couldn't be happier to be there with Anna and Kristie! Let the adventures begin!
After seeing all these new blog posts, I decided to write one of my own. One thing I didn't anticipate, though, was boring myself to death as I read it back. So kudos to anyone who actually makes it through this. Goodnight and God Bless.
After Caleb graduates, we're gonna load up that Uhaul and head to truly begin our new, more stable, life. I can't wait to be in the same place for more than a year and really be able to settle into a new home and make it my own. I've been flooding my Pinterest with big ideas, although with 2 kids under 2 I foresee the follow through lacking. I'm also beyond thrilled to be in California and live somewhere I've never been. I love new experiences and I'm stoked to have 2 amazing ladies to share them with! I couldn't be happier to be there with Anna and Kristie! Let the adventures begin!
After seeing all these new blog posts, I decided to write one of my own. One thing I didn't anticipate, though, was boring myself to death as I read it back. So kudos to anyone who actually makes it through this. Goodnight and God Bless.
Sunday, September 23, 2012
worst. blogger. ever.
It's about 8 pm and I have one baby trying to fall asleep in his room, one baby sleeping peacefully beside me on the couch, and one husband miserably studying for his test tomorrow on his only day off :/ Life couldn't be any sweeter, well unless Caleb didn't have to study.
I have painfully come to realize that I may be the worst blogger in history. I can't even remember the last time I have written a new post... I'll blame it on the fact that I just had a baby... Never mind that it's been almost 6 weeks ago.. Hey, being the mother of 2 under 2 is tough and time consuming!
Ok here is goes...
In May, we began wrapping up our adventure in Stafford, VA. We turned in our notice and invited strange men into our home to pack up our humble 3 bedroom apartment and ship it to California. I was beyond thrilled to find out that our duty station would be California because all that rang in my head was BEACH! Caleb, not so thrilled. Apparently the state is too liberal for his liking :) With the great news comes the not so great news... Caleb still had to go to MOS school and he was majorly blessed to get his first choice : artillery.... except the 5+ month school was in Lawton, OK... Ever heard of it? Neither has anyone else.
At the end of May, we loaded up the rest of our stuff (with Caleb throwing away everything that he deemed "wouldn't fit" (humidifiers, Baby Einstein Play Mat's..) Needless to say, I was a little bitter. But he assured me, he would replace them... I just felt wasteful. There really wasn't any extra room though. Everyone was sitting on stuff and poor Sam was squished into his car seat while everything was stuffed in around him. This began our 7 day journey across the country to California.
It was pretty uneventful (Praise the Lord)... We drove each day until about 5pm.. because that's when Sam decided he'd had enough. He was a big trooper! My favorite state was New Mexico... It was absolutely beautiful! Finally we pushed on the last day and made it to CA. It would be our home for the next 10 days as Caleb checked into his unit and got new orders for us to travel to OK and check into his MOS school.
I did not want to leave CA, especially for OK. When we arrived, I was surprised to find it much bigger than I thought it would be. It has mostly everything you need. Except a TARGET! How does that happen.. To go anywhere other than Lawton, you have to drive at least 50 miles.. LAME. We have yet to leave this hole. We have met some pretty great people though and Sam has made some friends that he plays with everyday, so this Momma is happy :) The best thing though that has come out of this place is of course my baby boy, Kiam Elias Peterson.
Kiam was born on August 14, 2012 at 9:09 pm. He weighed 8 lbs 1 oz and 20.5 inches :) A few days before I started having consistent contractions that put me in the hospital without any progress past 4 cm dilated. So lucky me, I had all the pains of labor without the baby. Thank goodness my mom and aunt were here to help with Sam, because I literally couldn't do anything. Ugh, I cringe just thinking about the pain. It continued 2 days until Tuesday, right as dinner was about to be finished, I started having a ton of pain again... Nothing more than had been happening.. I didn't feel contractions, just a lot of pain. I decided to go to the hospital because I was gonna make them give me pain meds! (They wouldn't give me anything the first time I went) Nurse walks in, checks me, and I'm 7 cm dilated. WHAT?! I didn't even know I was in labor! I almost didn't come in! I ended up giving birth about an hour and half later with only a few pushes. That kid just popped right out!
But now it's 6 weeks later and I have pretty well adjusted to being a mother of 2 babies :) I feel like a professional diaper changer. We have a good schedule going on and not to mention I have the best husband who helps me probably more than he should :) I am one blessed wife and momma!
This is super long and I apologize. One person will probably read this because he a) feels sorry for me and b) it's about him too. (egocentric... jk babe)
I have painfully come to realize that I may be the worst blogger in history. I can't even remember the last time I have written a new post... I'll blame it on the fact that I just had a baby... Never mind that it's been almost 6 weeks ago.. Hey, being the mother of 2 under 2 is tough and time consuming!
Ok here is goes...
In May, we began wrapping up our adventure in Stafford, VA. We turned in our notice and invited strange men into our home to pack up our humble 3 bedroom apartment and ship it to California. I was beyond thrilled to find out that our duty station would be California because all that rang in my head was BEACH! Caleb, not so thrilled. Apparently the state is too liberal for his liking :) With the great news comes the not so great news... Caleb still had to go to MOS school and he was majorly blessed to get his first choice : artillery.... except the 5+ month school was in Lawton, OK... Ever heard of it? Neither has anyone else.
At the end of May, we loaded up the rest of our stuff (with Caleb throwing away everything that he deemed "wouldn't fit" (humidifiers, Baby Einstein Play Mat's..) Needless to say, I was a little bitter. But he assured me, he would replace them... I just felt wasteful. There really wasn't any extra room though. Everyone was sitting on stuff and poor Sam was squished into his car seat while everything was stuffed in around him. This began our 7 day journey across the country to California.
It was pretty uneventful (Praise the Lord)... We drove each day until about 5pm.. because that's when Sam decided he'd had enough. He was a big trooper! My favorite state was New Mexico... It was absolutely beautiful! Finally we pushed on the last day and made it to CA. It would be our home for the next 10 days as Caleb checked into his unit and got new orders for us to travel to OK and check into his MOS school.
I did not want to leave CA, especially for OK. When we arrived, I was surprised to find it much bigger than I thought it would be. It has mostly everything you need. Except a TARGET! How does that happen.. To go anywhere other than Lawton, you have to drive at least 50 miles.. LAME. We have yet to leave this hole. We have met some pretty great people though and Sam has made some friends that he plays with everyday, so this Momma is happy :) The best thing though that has come out of this place is of course my baby boy, Kiam Elias Peterson.
Kiam was born on August 14, 2012 at 9:09 pm. He weighed 8 lbs 1 oz and 20.5 inches :) A few days before I started having consistent contractions that put me in the hospital without any progress past 4 cm dilated. So lucky me, I had all the pains of labor without the baby. Thank goodness my mom and aunt were here to help with Sam, because I literally couldn't do anything. Ugh, I cringe just thinking about the pain. It continued 2 days until Tuesday, right as dinner was about to be finished, I started having a ton of pain again... Nothing more than had been happening.. I didn't feel contractions, just a lot of pain. I decided to go to the hospital because I was gonna make them give me pain meds! (They wouldn't give me anything the first time I went) Nurse walks in, checks me, and I'm 7 cm dilated. WHAT?! I didn't even know I was in labor! I almost didn't come in! I ended up giving birth about an hour and half later with only a few pushes. That kid just popped right out!
But now it's 6 weeks later and I have pretty well adjusted to being a mother of 2 babies :) I feel like a professional diaper changer. We have a good schedule going on and not to mention I have the best husband who helps me probably more than he should :) I am one blessed wife and momma!
This is super long and I apologize. One person will probably read this because he a) feels sorry for me and b) it's about him too. (egocentric... jk babe)
Thursday, March 8, 2012
missing you.
When I met Caleb and we started dating, one of his famous lines was "I'm going into the Marine Corps for 5 years and I'm not getting married until after I get out." Of course he ate his words because we were married a little over a year later. <3 I knew from day one what kind of life I would be getting myself into if things worked out with us....or at least I thought I did. To me, it sounded like adventure. Traveling and moving from place to place and being a Marine wife sounded exciting to me.
As I sit here through the 4th Fex (I think), I'm thinking about the times I have with my little family. I realize I take my husband and the time I have with him for granted. I get so caught up in going through the motions of life that I rarely stop to appreciate what I actually have and who I have to share it with. I'm listening to our song that we danced to at our wedding (Look After You by The Fray) and I just start to enter into dreamland.
My husband is the hardest working man I know. He leaves the house anywhere between 4 and 6 am each day and doesn't usually get home until after 6 or 7. After being gone all day, he'll come home and try to help me with Sam if I need it and then start to work on stuff for the next day... and I always feel like there's something. On the weekends he doesn't just lay around, he wants to get out and spend time with us or even help me clean the house and he'll do whatever little projects need to get done around the house.
On top of working his butt off, he has the sweetest heart. He's so focused on putting others before himself and leading a Christ-like life that I can help but swoon over him. <3 He's always asking me what he can do for me or Sam. As I sit here, I honestly can't think of one time that he put himself before his family. He's so incredibly loving and affectionate and takes the time to be attentive to me. He doesn't complain and is always appreciative of everything I do even if it doesn't seem like a lot. I'm beyond blessed to have found someone so genuine who is a great leader and provider for his family. I definitely don't deserve him, but I'm incredibly thankful nonetheless.
Being a Marine wife proved to be more difficult than I anticipated, but I'm proud of my husband and I stand behind him 100%. We've got 2 more Fex's left and only one more day until I see my sweet, sexy husband :) Counting down the hours...
As I sit here through the 4th Fex (I think), I'm thinking about the times I have with my little family. I realize I take my husband and the time I have with him for granted. I get so caught up in going through the motions of life that I rarely stop to appreciate what I actually have and who I have to share it with. I'm listening to our song that we danced to at our wedding (Look After You by The Fray) and I just start to enter into dreamland.
My husband is the hardest working man I know. He leaves the house anywhere between 4 and 6 am each day and doesn't usually get home until after 6 or 7. After being gone all day, he'll come home and try to help me with Sam if I need it and then start to work on stuff for the next day... and I always feel like there's something. On the weekends he doesn't just lay around, he wants to get out and spend time with us or even help me clean the house and he'll do whatever little projects need to get done around the house.
On top of working his butt off, he has the sweetest heart. He's so focused on putting others before himself and leading a Christ-like life that I can help but swoon over him. <3 He's always asking me what he can do for me or Sam. As I sit here, I honestly can't think of one time that he put himself before his family. He's so incredibly loving and affectionate and takes the time to be attentive to me. He doesn't complain and is always appreciative of everything I do even if it doesn't seem like a lot. I'm beyond blessed to have found someone so genuine who is a great leader and provider for his family. I definitely don't deserve him, but I'm incredibly thankful nonetheless.
Being a Marine wife proved to be more difficult than I anticipated, but I'm proud of my husband and I stand behind him 100%. We've got 2 more Fex's left and only one more day until I see my sweet, sexy husband :) Counting down the hours...
Wednesday, February 29, 2012
oh, is that how that happens?
When we found out I was pregnant with our 2nd baby, I was completely shocked, and to be honest, scared to death. I had gone to the doctor a few weeks prior who had given me a blood test and assured me I was NOT pregnant, so I was feeling pretty good. One morning I woke up feeling out of sorts and decided to take a home pregnancy test and wouldn't you know that blasted thing said "pregnant." Talk about a whirl of emotions. I'm not gonna sit here and tell you I was excited, because I wasn't. So many thoughts were zooming through my head and happiness wasn't one of them.
I was worried about how I was going to handle 2 babies... I was worried about how we were going to afford everything... How we were going to do this with family so far away and us constantly moving.... And the biggest thought I had was I'm going to lose my one on one time with Sam which meant more to me than anything.
In today's society, it's out of the norm for people to have a lot of kids. Most people only have a few. When we announced that we were pregnant with baby #2 so close in age to Sam, people were surprised and made jokes asking us if we knew how people got pregnant... Of course I laughed this off, mostly because it was actually funny the first time.... not so much around the 5th :). I felt judged and misunderstood... I felt like people were looking at me asking "what is she thinking?"
Before and after Caleb and I got married, we discussed a lot about kids and how many we wanted. Our conclusion came to as many as God wants us to have. We wanted to raise children to love the Lord and our prayer for them is that they choose to follow God with their lives. We decided not to go on birth control (which got people thinking we were crazy). After a lot of prayer and discussion, I felt like it wasn't for me. I had a sense of conviction about it. I'm not saying that I think birth control is a sin and people shouldn't take it, but for me it wasn't the right thing. I'm somewhat of a control freak and have to have everything planned and it is so hard for me to let go and let God lead me instead of trying to drag Him along with my plans. With children, I felt the strong need to completely let go and give it over to God, and for me, that meant not taking birth control and accepting as many children as God would like to bless our family with.
When I found out I was pregnant, I completely lost sight of this. All I could do was cry and worry. In Matthew 6:30 Jesus says "Wherefore, if God so clothe the grass of the field, which today is, and tomorrow is cast into the oven, shall he not much more clothe you, O ye of little faith?" How did I have so much faith and at that moment throw it all away because I felt scared? Had He not always provided or been there for me even in the toughest of times? I'm ashamed of my reaction because I'll never get that back, but through this I am reminded again of why we have chosen to follow God's path for us and not our own and what that continues to entail.
It's not going to be easy. It's gonna be really hard and sometimes I'm not going to feel like I know what I'm doing or have the answers, but through these times, it draws me closer to God and what more could I ask for? "The Lord is my strength and my shield; in Him my heart trusts, and I am helped; my heart exults, and with my song I give thanks to Him." Psalm 28:7
I was worried about how I was going to handle 2 babies... I was worried about how we were going to afford everything... How we were going to do this with family so far away and us constantly moving.... And the biggest thought I had was I'm going to lose my one on one time with Sam which meant more to me than anything.
In today's society, it's out of the norm for people to have a lot of kids. Most people only have a few. When we announced that we were pregnant with baby #2 so close in age to Sam, people were surprised and made jokes asking us if we knew how people got pregnant... Of course I laughed this off, mostly because it was actually funny the first time.... not so much around the 5th :). I felt judged and misunderstood... I felt like people were looking at me asking "what is she thinking?"
Before and after Caleb and I got married, we discussed a lot about kids and how many we wanted. Our conclusion came to as many as God wants us to have. We wanted to raise children to love the Lord and our prayer for them is that they choose to follow God with their lives. We decided not to go on birth control (which got people thinking we were crazy). After a lot of prayer and discussion, I felt like it wasn't for me. I had a sense of conviction about it. I'm not saying that I think birth control is a sin and people shouldn't take it, but for me it wasn't the right thing. I'm somewhat of a control freak and have to have everything planned and it is so hard for me to let go and let God lead me instead of trying to drag Him along with my plans. With children, I felt the strong need to completely let go and give it over to God, and for me, that meant not taking birth control and accepting as many children as God would like to bless our family with.
When I found out I was pregnant, I completely lost sight of this. All I could do was cry and worry. In Matthew 6:30 Jesus says "Wherefore, if God so clothe the grass of the field, which today is, and tomorrow is cast into the oven, shall he not much more clothe you, O ye of little faith?" How did I have so much faith and at that moment throw it all away because I felt scared? Had He not always provided or been there for me even in the toughest of times? I'm ashamed of my reaction because I'll never get that back, but through this I am reminded again of why we have chosen to follow God's path for us and not our own and what that continues to entail.
It's not going to be easy. It's gonna be really hard and sometimes I'm not going to feel like I know what I'm doing or have the answers, but through these times, it draws me closer to God and what more could I ask for? "The Lord is my strength and my shield; in Him my heart trusts, and I am helped; my heart exults, and with my song I give thanks to Him." Psalm 28:7
Saturday, February 11, 2012
half way mark.
I'm not exactly an avid blogger... only because the only extra time I get I usually spend showering, so you're welcome. We are now over half way through with TBS and all I can say is PRAISE THE LORD. This has been one of the biggest challenges I have faced. Caleb gets up anywhere between 4 and 6 in the morning and usually doesn't get home until about 7 at night, which means I'm on baby duty all day everyday. Don't get me wrong, I am super blessed to have the opportunity to be a stay at home mom and be the one watching my son grow up (who is growing like a weed btw), but it is exhausting. Sometimes I just need a break and a little me time...but hey, we're more than half way done and then we go onto our next adventure.
Before having kids, the idea of Marine life excited me. Moving from place to place and getting to see all new things. Post Sam, it's a little frightening not knowing where we're going and how far from family we'll be. But don't worry, I keep my head up and try to get a little excited about the possibilities. Through TBS, I have been tested more than I think I ever have been. In this situation, you have to completely rely on your faith in the Lord or you'll go crazy. I'm blessed to serve a God who is my rock and will never leave me.
So I mentioned that Cabe is gone about a million hours a week, which makes his hourly pay less than women and children in Chinese sweatshops, but he's also gone for a week about twice a month. This gives you an idea of how little I see my husband.... so when we found out I was expecting AGAIN, I was a tad surprised. And when I say "tad", I mean I had a full on panic attack... 2 kids within 13 months of each other?? ARE YOU KIDDING ME?!?! Many many tears and freak outs later, I am getting more excited everyday with knowing that I'm giving Sam a playmate and how much fun we'll have. (As if it wasn't hard enough with one)
On March 12th we will find out if God has blessed us with a baby boy or girl, which is very exciting. We talk about names all the time and have narrowed them down to 2. We might tell you eventually ;)
Before having kids, the idea of Marine life excited me. Moving from place to place and getting to see all new things. Post Sam, it's a little frightening not knowing where we're going and how far from family we'll be. But don't worry, I keep my head up and try to get a little excited about the possibilities. Through TBS, I have been tested more than I think I ever have been. In this situation, you have to completely rely on your faith in the Lord or you'll go crazy. I'm blessed to serve a God who is my rock and will never leave me.
So I mentioned that Cabe is gone about a million hours a week, which makes his hourly pay less than women and children in Chinese sweatshops, but he's also gone for a week about twice a month. This gives you an idea of how little I see my husband.... so when we found out I was expecting AGAIN, I was a tad surprised. And when I say "tad", I mean I had a full on panic attack... 2 kids within 13 months of each other?? ARE YOU KIDDING ME?!?! Many many tears and freak outs later, I am getting more excited everyday with knowing that I'm giving Sam a playmate and how much fun we'll have. (As if it wasn't hard enough with one)
On March 12th we will find out if God has blessed us with a baby boy or girl, which is very exciting. We talk about names all the time and have narrowed them down to 2. We might tell you eventually ;)
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