The best kind of superheroes.

If you know me at all, you know that I have an extreme Type A personality. I'm a planner. I like things thought out, planned out, and organized. People who don't care to come up with a game plan or who don't stick to what they say they're gonna do thoroughly grates on my nerves. I try to avoid these type of people because they ruffle my feathers so much.  Funny enough, my husband is the polar opposite of me, but we work because he lets me be the control freak I need to be. We balance each other out well... Most of the time ;)

Since my last post, something I didn't plan for and actually tried the whole "ignore and it will go away" happened. I woke up and stopped lying to myself. I listened to way too many "oh, my friends kid was this way and turned out great" and read lots of "kids develop at their own pace" posts.  I know people are trying to instill hope and share their success stories, but more often than not, they're the exception, not the rule.  It's great to hold onto that hope, but as a realist, I say to hold onto what you know is true because the longer you sit and wait, the longer you're putting off getting the help your child so desperately needs.

Let me back up. Our second son Kiam is special needs. He turns 3 in August and in 2 months we have his evaluation for a diasnosis. He has a severe speech and developmental delay. We obviously noticed signs very early on, but because I wanted to control the situation and not believe my child might have different obstacles, I ignored it and relied on the "kids develop at different paces" line.  This is true to an extent, but I ignored major signs and had I not, he could have begun therapy a year earlier. That's something I highly regret and take responsibility for.

  He was such an amazing baby. Slept great from day one and hardly ever cried. He was always content to just sit. Around 6 months of age, we went to visit my family for 5 weeks while Caleb was in the field. Kiam cried incessantly the entire time. Even after a doctors visit, we couldn't pinpoint a problem. I just thought he was sensitive to routine change. He also stopped nursing during this time. When 9-12 months came along, he never learned to clap or wave "bye-bye."  When he had his one year checkup and they asked if he said a certain number of words, I said yes remembering a time or two where I thought he said this or that, but then never said again. Little did I realize that he was "losing language."  He didn't walk until he was 15 months old and then he started toe-walking, which I told myself was a phase. After he turned one, he also started crying all the time which was the hardest part for me. I thought maybe he's just a hard toddler since he was such a great baby. This was "just another phase." He never played beside or with other children is age. It was like he never even saw them. He still doesn't.

Now at 32 months, Kiam still doesn't say anything but "no" which is usually used correctly. He occasionally says "go."  He's said a few other words, but only once. He is amazing at puzzles, but his fine motor skills are lacking. These have improved drastically in just a few short months with the help of occupational therapy. He has speech and OT about 3-4 times a week.  His therapists are angels and he loves them. When I see him run into their arms, these are the times I kick myself for not opening my eyes sooner.

When we first started going to therapy and learning just how severe things were, I was on an emotional roller coaster. I didn't want anyone to know. Not because I was ashamed, but because I didn't want people to label my child. This world is cruel and I didn't want it to carry with him. I still don't, but I also don't want to hide it.  Kiam was quickly getting to an age where it was more obvious. People would try to talk to him and he wouldn't respond or when we would try to leave him in the church nursery he would be so upset he would be throwing things.  As a family, we have different daily challenges, but we adapt and overcome. We may avoid some things like going to sit down restaurants or expecting Kiam to act appropriately in a sensory overloaded environment, but this is our normal. I'm proud of my happy, energetic, sensory-seeking, blonde baby boy! He challenges us daily to be the best parents we can be. I used to ask how this happened and without skipping a beat, Caleb would remind me that he was born this way.. That God doesn't make mistakes. I cling to this. This child is great and will do great things. Kiam means "life" which is so fitting for his personality. You would be lucky to spend 5 minutes with this kid, if you could keep up that is ;)

I encourage other parents that if you have any doubt in the development of your child or just feel like something is off, please bring it up to their pediatrician.  Early intervention has the highest success rate. Don't fear the diagnosis. You are your child's advocate. Take comfort in knowing you're not alone. There is a special community that will welcome you with open arms.

If you have any questions or just want me to pray for you, please don't hesitate to ask.

God Bless!