When we found out I was pregnant with our 2nd baby, I was completely shocked, and to be honest, scared to death. I had gone to the doctor a few weeks prior who had given me a blood test and assured me I was NOT pregnant, so I was feeling pretty good. One morning I woke up feeling out of sorts and decided to take a home pregnancy test and wouldn't you know that blasted thing said "pregnant." Talk about a whirl of emotions. I'm not gonna sit here and tell you I was excited, because I wasn't. So many thoughts were zooming through my head and happiness wasn't one of them.
I was worried about how I was going to handle 2 babies... I was worried about how we were going to afford everything... How we were going to do this with family so far away and us constantly moving.... And the biggest thought I had was I'm going to lose my one on one time with Sam which meant more to me than anything.
In today's society, it's out of the norm for people to have a lot of kids. Most people only have a few. When we announced that we were pregnant with baby #2 so close in age to Sam, people were surprised and made jokes asking us if we knew how people got pregnant... Of course I laughed this off, mostly because it was actually funny the first time.... not so much around the 5th :). I felt judged and misunderstood... I felt like people were looking at me asking "what is she thinking?"
Before and after Caleb and I got married, we discussed a lot about kids and how many we wanted. Our conclusion came to as many as God wants us to have. We wanted to raise children to love the Lord and our prayer for them is that they choose to follow God with their lives. We decided not to go on birth control (which got people thinking we were crazy). After a lot of prayer and discussion, I felt like it wasn't for me. I had a sense of conviction about it. I'm not saying that I think birth control is a sin and people shouldn't take it, but for me it wasn't the right thing. I'm somewhat of a control freak and have to have everything planned and it is so hard for me to let go and let God lead me instead of trying to drag Him along with my plans. With children, I felt the strong need to completely let go and give it over to God, and for me, that meant not taking birth control and accepting as many children as God would like to bless our family with.
When I found out I was pregnant, I completely lost sight of this. All I could do was cry and worry. In Matthew 6:30 Jesus says "Wherefore, if God so clothe the grass of the field, which today is, and tomorrow is cast into the oven, shall he not much more clothe you, O ye of little faith?" How did I have so much faith and at that moment throw it all away because I felt scared? Had He not always provided or been there for me even in the toughest of times? I'm ashamed of my reaction because I'll never get that back, but through this I am reminded again of why we have chosen to follow God's path for us and not our own and what that continues to entail.
It's not going to be easy. It's gonna be really hard and sometimes I'm not going to feel like I know what I'm doing or have the answers, but through these times, it draws me closer to God and what more could I ask for? "The Lord is my strength and my shield; in Him my heart trusts, and I am helped; my heart exults, and with my song I give thanks to Him." Psalm 28:7
Wednesday, February 29, 2012
Saturday, February 11, 2012
half way mark.
I'm not exactly an avid blogger... only because the only extra time I get I usually spend showering, so you're welcome. We are now over half way through with TBS and all I can say is PRAISE THE LORD. This has been one of the biggest challenges I have faced. Caleb gets up anywhere between 4 and 6 in the morning and usually doesn't get home until about 7 at night, which means I'm on baby duty all day everyday. Don't get me wrong, I am super blessed to have the opportunity to be a stay at home mom and be the one watching my son grow up (who is growing like a weed btw), but it is exhausting. Sometimes I just need a break and a little me time...but hey, we're more than half way done and then we go onto our next adventure.
Before having kids, the idea of Marine life excited me. Moving from place to place and getting to see all new things. Post Sam, it's a little frightening not knowing where we're going and how far from family we'll be. But don't worry, I keep my head up and try to get a little excited about the possibilities. Through TBS, I have been tested more than I think I ever have been. In this situation, you have to completely rely on your faith in the Lord or you'll go crazy. I'm blessed to serve a God who is my rock and will never leave me.
So I mentioned that Cabe is gone about a million hours a week, which makes his hourly pay less than women and children in Chinese sweatshops, but he's also gone for a week about twice a month. This gives you an idea of how little I see my husband.... so when we found out I was expecting AGAIN, I was a tad surprised. And when I say "tad", I mean I had a full on panic attack... 2 kids within 13 months of each other?? ARE YOU KIDDING ME?!?! Many many tears and freak outs later, I am getting more excited everyday with knowing that I'm giving Sam a playmate and how much fun we'll have. (As if it wasn't hard enough with one)
On March 12th we will find out if God has blessed us with a baby boy or girl, which is very exciting. We talk about names all the time and have narrowed them down to 2. We might tell you eventually ;)
Before having kids, the idea of Marine life excited me. Moving from place to place and getting to see all new things. Post Sam, it's a little frightening not knowing where we're going and how far from family we'll be. But don't worry, I keep my head up and try to get a little excited about the possibilities. Through TBS, I have been tested more than I think I ever have been. In this situation, you have to completely rely on your faith in the Lord or you'll go crazy. I'm blessed to serve a God who is my rock and will never leave me.
So I mentioned that Cabe is gone about a million hours a week, which makes his hourly pay less than women and children in Chinese sweatshops, but he's also gone for a week about twice a month. This gives you an idea of how little I see my husband.... so when we found out I was expecting AGAIN, I was a tad surprised. And when I say "tad", I mean I had a full on panic attack... 2 kids within 13 months of each other?? ARE YOU KIDDING ME?!?! Many many tears and freak outs later, I am getting more excited everyday with knowing that I'm giving Sam a playmate and how much fun we'll have. (As if it wasn't hard enough with one)
On March 12th we will find out if God has blessed us with a baby boy or girl, which is very exciting. We talk about names all the time and have narrowed them down to 2. We might tell you eventually ;)
Saturday, September 17, 2011
baby couponer.
Every time I watch Extreme Couponing on TLC, I get this EXTREME motivation and drive to become just like these crazy women who hold up lines and get super stressed out, BUT save hundreds of dollars every shopping trip!
I surf the internet looking for "how to's" on awesome money saving websites trying to morph into one of these women, but have sadly only become what I like to call a "baby couponer."
I have only mastered CVS. I don't know if it's because my husband works there and I feel comfortable shopping there or if it is truly the easiest place to save money. I'll share what I've learned and what I do to accomplish saving money, because it is addicting and everyone should do it... ( just don't go to my CVS, because I hate when they're out of what I'm buying!) :)
1) Every Sunday I buy 1-2 papers that have the inserts with coupons. I come home to cut them out and sort them into piles... baby, food, toiletries, and won't use. The ones I will use I put into separate envelopes.
2) I get the CVS ad either in paper form or from the internet and make a list of things I need or want. It's important to look for things that are on sale and also will give you cash back (ECB/Extra Care Buck). Take note of items that you can only buy one per household on sale.
3) I will go into CVS and scan my extra care card several times to get various coupons you can use within the store. Any CVS coupon can be used with as many other CVS coupons you want. And sometimes you will get CVS coupons based on what you have bought previously.
4) I will organize my cut out coupons and combine them with my CVS coupons and double check that these items are already on sale and get will ECB's back.
5) Then you buy! If you want to you can ring up several transactions so that you can use your ECB's on your other items.
Example: This week CVS was running their Huggies jumbo pack of diapers on sale for $8.99 (originally $11.99). I had 2 CVS coupons for $1 each off Huggies diapers. I also had a $3 coupon off Huggies that I cut out of Sunday's paper.
They also had Huggies wipes on sale for $2.79 (originally $3.99). I had a cut out coupon for $.40.
They also had Johnson Bedtime Baby Lotion on sale for $2.99 (originally $5.99). I had 2 manufacturer coupons for $1 each.
I combined this with a CVS coupon I had gotten earlier this week that will take $3 off of $15 you spend on baby items.
I also used an ECB I had gotten from another item.
The total original price was $28. After having a a combo of coupons and ECB's I spent $6 and saved $22! Not to mention I got $4 more dollars I will spend on my next visit!
On the box of Pampers I saved $7 and got $3 ECB's :)
I surf the internet looking for "how to's" on awesome money saving websites trying to morph into one of these women, but have sadly only become what I like to call a "baby couponer."
I have only mastered CVS. I don't know if it's because my husband works there and I feel comfortable shopping there or if it is truly the easiest place to save money. I'll share what I've learned and what I do to accomplish saving money, because it is addicting and everyone should do it... ( just don't go to my CVS, because I hate when they're out of what I'm buying!) :)
1) Every Sunday I buy 1-2 papers that have the inserts with coupons. I come home to cut them out and sort them into piles... baby, food, toiletries, and won't use. The ones I will use I put into separate envelopes.
2) I get the CVS ad either in paper form or from the internet and make a list of things I need or want. It's important to look for things that are on sale and also will give you cash back (ECB/Extra Care Buck). Take note of items that you can only buy one per household on sale.
3) I will go into CVS and scan my extra care card several times to get various coupons you can use within the store. Any CVS coupon can be used with as many other CVS coupons you want. And sometimes you will get CVS coupons based on what you have bought previously.
4) I will organize my cut out coupons and combine them with my CVS coupons and double check that these items are already on sale and get will ECB's back.
5) Then you buy! If you want to you can ring up several transactions so that you can use your ECB's on your other items.
Example: This week CVS was running their Huggies jumbo pack of diapers on sale for $8.99 (originally $11.99). I had 2 CVS coupons for $1 each off Huggies diapers. I also had a $3 coupon off Huggies that I cut out of Sunday's paper.
They also had Huggies wipes on sale for $2.79 (originally $3.99). I had a cut out coupon for $.40.
They also had Johnson Bedtime Baby Lotion on sale for $2.99 (originally $5.99). I had 2 manufacturer coupons for $1 each.
I combined this with a CVS coupon I had gotten earlier this week that will take $3 off of $15 you spend on baby items.
I also used an ECB I had gotten from another item.
The total original price was $28. After having a a combo of coupons and ECB's I spent $6 and saved $22! Not to mention I got $4 more dollars I will spend on my next visit!
Friday, September 9, 2011
mom cuts, sweatpants, and no makeup.
Growing up I've always looked at mothers wondering why they all insist on getting the "mom" cut, why they are usually never wear makeup, and why they never want to dress up and wear cute clothes. I have finally realized exactly why they quit trying, because I am SO there.. well, minus the mom cut.
I would love to have my hair long again and wear it down and curly, but unfortunately I have a 2 month old that LOVES to grab at anything he can get a hold of....so I wear my hair in a ponytail everyday and he still grabs all the baby hairs he can find. Thanks, Sam. Do I need to shave my head?
I would love to go shopping and dress in super cute fall clothes and get new heels, but as I stand in the isle, all I find myself looking at is sweats and flats. I feel like without them, I'm in a constant state of uncomfortable.
I would love to look pretty for my husband and myself and put on makeup, but what's the point? If I stay inside all day with Sam, I might as well go natural. He doesn't mind :) And I guess I'm saving money on makeup, so yeah!
I'm sorry for silently judging all moms who decided to leave the house looking a hot mess, because I have jumped on that band wagon and I'm not even ashamed. Maybe when he's older I'll try again....but don't count on it.
I would love to have my hair long again and wear it down and curly, but unfortunately I have a 2 month old that LOVES to grab at anything he can get a hold of....so I wear my hair in a ponytail everyday and he still grabs all the baby hairs he can find. Thanks, Sam. Do I need to shave my head?
I would love to go shopping and dress in super cute fall clothes and get new heels, but as I stand in the isle, all I find myself looking at is sweats and flats. I feel like without them, I'm in a constant state of uncomfortable.
I would love to look pretty for my husband and myself and put on makeup, but what's the point? If I stay inside all day with Sam, I might as well go natural. He doesn't mind :) And I guess I'm saving money on makeup, so yeah!
I'm sorry for silently judging all moms who decided to leave the house looking a hot mess, because I have jumped on that band wagon and I'm not even ashamed. Maybe when he's older I'll try again....but don't count on it.
Monday, August 22, 2011
one down, a million to go...
Last week my baby boy turned 1 month old. WHAT?!?! I feel like I just brought him home from the hospital! And now I'm starting to sound like my parents. Great.
Being a mom is so much more different than I ever anticipated. This kid survives because of me. No pressure. I feel like I have no time to do anything I want to do, let alone need to do. Where the time came from to write this, I have no idea. My day consists of changing a diaper, feeding, burping, fighting with Sam to put him to sleep, repeat. I do this all day with an occasional bath, projectile poop/pee, and hysterical crying fit thrown in the mix. Needless to say, by the end of the day I am exhausted.
Samuel wakes up about 2-3 times a night. It isn't so bad anymore. I guess I've gotten used to it. Caleb sleeps right through it, which at times has made me want to throw things at him...which I'm sure I have :) I have finally stopped being so clingy and am okay with people holding and watching him. Caleb watched him for the first time today for maybe an hour. When I called to check up on him, I thought the poor boy was going to have a panic attack. Sam had gas and was hungry and Caleb couldn't figure out how to console him at first. When I got home, I found him bouncing him on the bed in the dark. All I could do was giggle a little. Caleb knew it was hard, but I don't think he fully realized what I go through until today. When I relieved him, all he said was "And I didn't even get to play Call of Duty!" Nice. I was proud of him for putting in the work and being so nurturing, because I must say that I was nervous, but now I know I have nothing to worry about. Caleb is an excellent father and an incredible husband. I am so thankful to have him in my life!
Caleb is still awaiting orders from the Marine Corps for his TBS report date in October. For now, we're just enjoying spending time with family and friends in Cleveland and are looking forward to the next chapter in our lives.
Being a mom is so much more different than I ever anticipated. This kid survives because of me. No pressure. I feel like I have no time to do anything I want to do, let alone need to do. Where the time came from to write this, I have no idea. My day consists of changing a diaper, feeding, burping, fighting with Sam to put him to sleep, repeat. I do this all day with an occasional bath, projectile poop/pee, and hysterical crying fit thrown in the mix. Needless to say, by the end of the day I am exhausted.
Samuel wakes up about 2-3 times a night. It isn't so bad anymore. I guess I've gotten used to it. Caleb sleeps right through it, which at times has made me want to throw things at him...which I'm sure I have :) I have finally stopped being so clingy and am okay with people holding and watching him. Caleb watched him for the first time today for maybe an hour. When I called to check up on him, I thought the poor boy was going to have a panic attack. Sam had gas and was hungry and Caleb couldn't figure out how to console him at first. When I got home, I found him bouncing him on the bed in the dark. All I could do was giggle a little. Caleb knew it was hard, but I don't think he fully realized what I go through until today. When I relieved him, all he said was "And I didn't even get to play Call of Duty!" Nice. I was proud of him for putting in the work and being so nurturing, because I must say that I was nervous, but now I know I have nothing to worry about. Caleb is an excellent father and an incredible husband. I am so thankful to have him in my life!
Caleb is still awaiting orders from the Marine Corps for his TBS report date in October. For now, we're just enjoying spending time with family and friends in Cleveland and are looking forward to the next chapter in our lives.
Thursday, July 28, 2011
same same, but different.
So, I know I'm the worst blogger EVER and haven't updated this like I should. So here it goes. I'm sure you've all been waiting :)
The time finally came on July 18 @ 6:24 p.m. My precious baby boy arrived on a Monday weighing 7 lbs 12 oz and was 20.5 inches in length. This is a time that I anxiously awaited for what felt like forever! I thought I was ready...little did I know that my life was about to be so much more different than I ever imagined.
My pregnancy was pretty normal. Not really any problems. We had several ultrasounds, because they were concerned about his growing weight and size of his head...we ended up being induced at 39 weeks, which I was stoked about considering I was MISERABLE!
I went in at midnight on the 18th and was given meds to get the cervix going. I had an amazing team that consisted of our beautiful mothers, our dear sister, and my sweet husband. Words cannot express how much they meant to me. In the morning I was given Pitocin (which I was petrified of) and surprisingly enough, I could definitely handle these contractions. I didn't have any pain killers and I thought it was looking good for no epidural. Around early afternoon, my doctor came in to break my water. Boy, was I unprepared. Not only did that hurt like WOAH, but the contractions that came after went from being a 2 to an 8 in no time! I quickly asked for pain killers which did NOTHING, but make me high as a kite. Funny, I'm sure. After having a drunken talk with my husband about deciding on an epidural, I made my decision.... Operation GET ME ONE NOW! Best decision I have EVER made in my life. Before I knew it I was ready to start pushing. Also, another thing I was unprepared for. It took 1.5 hours of hard pushing. Can we say exhausting? I've never been so tired. After all that pushing and hearing the entire time that he's almost here, he actually did come out! (without feeling it, thank you, Lord!).
I didn't get to initially hold him, because he had to get checked out. So I watched from the bed as everyone else got to admire him and take his sweet little face in. This was the hardest part of the whole process. I've waited all this time to finally meet my precious man and he's just out of reach. All I wanted was to touch him, hold him, look into his beautiful eyes.
Finally, the moment was mine. I was able to meet God's amazing gift to me. He was absolutely perfect. The love and admiration I felt was indescribable. I could only praise the Father for His greatness.
Caleb and I were blessed to have tons of family and friends to visit us in the hospital and at home for our first week. Our wonderful mothers were there to help us, which was amazing! Now we're just a family of 3 and on our own. So many emotions, so many thoughts, and can I just say, So many diapers?!?! For real.
Everything has been so different than I could have possibly imagined. I'm so much more protective than I thought I'd be (trying to work on it). It's so hard to let go and let people help with taking care of him. I constantly think about him and if he's okay and what I can do better to make him happy. My heart breaks when I hear him cry. All of this is a recipe for disaster I'm sure. I'm hoping that I'll start to relax and ease up, but easier said than done.
The time finally came on July 18 @ 6:24 p.m. My precious baby boy arrived on a Monday weighing 7 lbs 12 oz and was 20.5 inches in length. This is a time that I anxiously awaited for what felt like forever! I thought I was ready...little did I know that my life was about to be so much more different than I ever imagined.
My pregnancy was pretty normal. Not really any problems. We had several ultrasounds, because they were concerned about his growing weight and size of his head...we ended up being induced at 39 weeks, which I was stoked about considering I was MISERABLE!
I went in at midnight on the 18th and was given meds to get the cervix going. I had an amazing team that consisted of our beautiful mothers, our dear sister, and my sweet husband. Words cannot express how much they meant to me. In the morning I was given Pitocin (which I was petrified of) and surprisingly enough, I could definitely handle these contractions. I didn't have any pain killers and I thought it was looking good for no epidural. Around early afternoon, my doctor came in to break my water. Boy, was I unprepared. Not only did that hurt like WOAH, but the contractions that came after went from being a 2 to an 8 in no time! I quickly asked for pain killers which did NOTHING, but make me high as a kite. Funny, I'm sure. After having a drunken talk with my husband about deciding on an epidural, I made my decision.... Operation GET ME ONE NOW! Best decision I have EVER made in my life. Before I knew it I was ready to start pushing. Also, another thing I was unprepared for. It took 1.5 hours of hard pushing. Can we say exhausting? I've never been so tired. After all that pushing and hearing the entire time that he's almost here, he actually did come out! (without feeling it, thank you, Lord!).
I didn't get to initially hold him, because he had to get checked out. So I watched from the bed as everyone else got to admire him and take his sweet little face in. This was the hardest part of the whole process. I've waited all this time to finally meet my precious man and he's just out of reach. All I wanted was to touch him, hold him, look into his beautiful eyes.
Finally, the moment was mine. I was able to meet God's amazing gift to me. He was absolutely perfect. The love and admiration I felt was indescribable. I could only praise the Father for His greatness.
Caleb and I were blessed to have tons of family and friends to visit us in the hospital and at home for our first week. Our wonderful mothers were there to help us, which was amazing! Now we're just a family of 3 and on our own. So many emotions, so many thoughts, and can I just say, So many diapers?!?! For real.
Everything has been so different than I could have possibly imagined. I'm so much more protective than I thought I'd be (trying to work on it). It's so hard to let go and let people help with taking care of him. I constantly think about him and if he's okay and what I can do better to make him happy. My heart breaks when I hear him cry. All of this is a recipe for disaster I'm sure. I'm hoping that I'll start to relax and ease up, but easier said than done.
Saturday, February 26, 2011
forever waiting.
Is it just me, or is your whole life devoted to waiting? Waiting to hear if you got the job, waiting to see that special someone, or waiting for the clock to strike 5 so you can go home. Today I am 19 weeks pregnant and I have been waiting to find out what this 10 inch baby in my stomach is. Boy? Girl? Boy? Girl? Boy? Girl? It's driving me nuts! As most of you know, I'm not a very patient person. Someone always has to say "well, patience is a virtue." Blah. Blah. Blah. I get it and trying to work on it, but failing miserably. I just need extra help from the Man Upstairs (my Jesus, in case you weren't sure).
My two sisters-in-law are pregnant too. Krista is due two weeks before me and Aubrey is due one month after me. Krista just found out she's having a boy (second one) and my fate is sealed. The Peterson boys are incapable of producing females. There are not any women in this family except the ones that married in! What did I sign up for? Don't get me wrong, I would love to have a boy or two, but I would LOVE to have a girl or twelve. :) My waiting misery is gone in exactly 9 days and I will confirm that I too am carrying ANOTHER Peterson boy.
All of this may sound like complaining to some, but I assure you it's not. Just stating the facts. I mean, I'll be thrilled with whatever God chooses to give me. I feel blessed more than you can imagine that he gave me a baby at all, regardless of if I get 10 boys (but just to be clear, I would LOVE a girl). This whole pregnancy thing is just a whole lot different than I thought it would be. It's a big game of waiting... waiting to see if you're actually pregnant, waiting to find out the sex, and waiting for that baby to make it's big debut. And why is it that when people gush over babies and being pregnant, do they not mention the gas, headaches, dizziness, loss of balance, swollen feet, uncomfortableness, throwing up, heartburn, and countless hours of sleep you DON'T get at night???? But, I suppose that's a whole other thing I shouldn't get into right now. Whatever... I'll just sit here waiting....waiting for next Monday to come. I promise you, that if this baby decides to be shy and not show us his/her gender, I will have to be drug out of that doctors office!
My two sisters-in-law are pregnant too. Krista is due two weeks before me and Aubrey is due one month after me. Krista just found out she's having a boy (second one) and my fate is sealed. The Peterson boys are incapable of producing females. There are not any women in this family except the ones that married in! What did I sign up for? Don't get me wrong, I would love to have a boy or two, but I would LOVE to have a girl or twelve. :) My waiting misery is gone in exactly 9 days and I will confirm that I too am carrying ANOTHER Peterson boy.
All of this may sound like complaining to some, but I assure you it's not. Just stating the facts. I mean, I'll be thrilled with whatever God chooses to give me. I feel blessed more than you can imagine that he gave me a baby at all, regardless of if I get 10 boys (but just to be clear, I would LOVE a girl). This whole pregnancy thing is just a whole lot different than I thought it would be. It's a big game of waiting... waiting to see if you're actually pregnant, waiting to find out the sex, and waiting for that baby to make it's big debut. And why is it that when people gush over babies and being pregnant, do they not mention the gas, headaches, dizziness, loss of balance, swollen feet, uncomfortableness, throwing up, heartburn, and countless hours of sleep you DON'T get at night???? But, I suppose that's a whole other thing I shouldn't get into right now. Whatever... I'll just sit here waiting....waiting for next Monday to come. I promise you, that if this baby decides to be shy and not show us his/her gender, I will have to be drug out of that doctors office!
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